8 Years
On this day eight years ago I met Archie. We met at the Mardi Gras concert a Fair Park which is a concert with a bunch of different singers/bands. We were introduced because my best friend Bethany's brother is Archie's fraternity brother (did you follow that?). We were introduced and later Archie grabbed my hand and asked me to go listen to Kevin Fowler. We listened to music all night long together and then at the end of the night Archie invited me to lunch the next day. We went on a lunch date to Carrabas in Dallas. Archie and I met and were together ever since.
Sad News
I found out this weekend that one of the gentlemen that arrived in ICU just 3 days after Archie passed away. Mike Dickey was riding on his motorcycle when he was hit by a car. He had been in the hospital since September, which is over 150 days. Mike was battling pneumonia and just could not get rid of it. My heart goes out to his wife because she has been through so much. She is such a strong lady and was at his side after work and every weekend. She would call the hospital every morning to get a status update to decide if she would go to work or the hospital. She had to go back to work because of the long recovery plan he had with broken bones, infections and other challenges. Please pray for the Dickey family during this difficult time.
A Few Lessons Learned
Throughout the aneurysm time there were some lessons that I learned that I think I should make sure that I share. You might know or have done what I am suggesting but it doesn't hurt to repeat it just to make sure. I am very thankful that Archie and I can put some of these lessons into action together.
1. If someone says they have the worse headache they have ever had in their life, take them to the ER to get a CAT scan. The worse thing that could happen is that it is a migraine and you might have to pay the ER bill. I mean yes, the doctor can find an issue on the CAT scan but hopefully you get to the hospital in time. The scary statistic is that 50% of people with brain aneurysms do not make it to the hospital.
2. Regardless of your age, have you planned out a will and what you want done if something happens to you? This is one of the things we did not have planned out and I am thankful that we can figure it out now. I mean Archie is only 32, we had only been married 2 years when this happened. I thought we would figure out once we have kids, boy was I wrong. What if something happened to both of us? Stressful situations do not make difficult decisions easier I can promise you that. If a will is present then decisions will be made according to your wishes and it will make it easier for family members.
3. A medical Power of Attorney to give someone the power to make decisions for you: your spouse, significant other, parent, sibling, whoever knows what you want in regards to the medical world. There are a bunch of decisions that Archie and I had not discussed and there were times at the hospital that I was making decisions for him and signing releases because Archie was not mentally there. An example of one issues were people in ICU waiting room talking about their loved one's quality of life not being what it was and having to make the decision about whether or not to keep them alive. Another challenge that I encountered was trying to get copies of his medical records for insurance purposes when you do not have POA, it does not happen. You would think that being married solves this problem and gives you that ability to get whatever you want for your spouse. Well it does not and during this time Archie was having surgeries and procedures so he was not able to sign a POA until later on. We did finally get a POA signed for Archie and we were able to get the records needed but we now need to get one set up for me. Another thing we will be doing in the near future.
Hopefully this post will lead you to action if there was something listed above that you have not done. Have the discussion about what you want done if anything happens to you. I am so thankful that Archie is with me right now. I can take these lessons and put some of them into action. I can talk to Archie and let him know what my wishes are so that if something happens to me he knows what I want rather than guessing and hoping that his actions are what I want and vice versa. Do not end up in my situation where you are making decisions and hoping it is what the person wants. I know it is not a fun topic or something you want to think about but do it. You can always make changes later down the road but at least the foundation is there.
1. If someone says they have the worse headache they have ever had in their life, take them to the ER to get a CAT scan. The worse thing that could happen is that it is a migraine and you might have to pay the ER bill. I mean yes, the doctor can find an issue on the CAT scan but hopefully you get to the hospital in time. The scary statistic is that 50% of people with brain aneurysms do not make it to the hospital.
2. Regardless of your age, have you planned out a will and what you want done if something happens to you? This is one of the things we did not have planned out and I am thankful that we can figure it out now. I mean Archie is only 32, we had only been married 2 years when this happened. I thought we would figure out once we have kids, boy was I wrong. What if something happened to both of us? Stressful situations do not make difficult decisions easier I can promise you that. If a will is present then decisions will be made according to your wishes and it will make it easier for family members.
3. A medical Power of Attorney to give someone the power to make decisions for you: your spouse, significant other, parent, sibling, whoever knows what you want in regards to the medical world. There are a bunch of decisions that Archie and I had not discussed and there were times at the hospital that I was making decisions for him and signing releases because Archie was not mentally there. An example of one issues were people in ICU waiting room talking about their loved one's quality of life not being what it was and having to make the decision about whether or not to keep them alive. Another challenge that I encountered was trying to get copies of his medical records for insurance purposes when you do not have POA, it does not happen. You would think that being married solves this problem and gives you that ability to get whatever you want for your spouse. Well it does not and during this time Archie was having surgeries and procedures so he was not able to sign a POA until later on. We did finally get a POA signed for Archie and we were able to get the records needed but we now need to get one set up for me. Another thing we will be doing in the near future.
Hopefully this post will lead you to action if there was something listed above that you have not done. Have the discussion about what you want done if anything happens to you. I am so thankful that Archie is with me right now. I can take these lessons and put some of them into action. I can talk to Archie and let him know what my wishes are so that if something happens to me he knows what I want rather than guessing and hoping that his actions are what I want and vice versa. Do not end up in my situation where you are making decisions and hoping it is what the person wants. I know it is not a fun topic or something you want to think about but do it. You can always make changes later down the road but at least the foundation is there.
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